In the Year 2000...

by guest blogger Corey Dargel

Molly has returned to the United States of 'Mur'ca, so she'll be reclaiming her blog next week.  Thank you all for reading and commenting on my writings.  I was trying to think of a single, big topic to end with, but I've come up empty.  So instead, I'll leave you with a few predictions about the future of music:

1) There will emerge something called a "gay aesthetic" dubbed as such by metrosexuals who hope to be able to conceptually experience a sexuality spectrum wider than they are willing to act on.  Buzzwords will be used and analyses will be published, but behind the smoke and mirrors, the "gay aesthetic" will be reduced to the following:  Male composers sometimes write feminine-sounding sonorities, and female composers sometimes write masculine-sounding sonorities.  (The National Organization of Bi-Curious Composers will set the guidelines to distinguish between feminine- and masculine-sounding sonorities.)

2) A new genre called "post-whatever" will become the next direction for Generation Z art-music.  The term "post-whatever" will be utilized without a hint of sarcasm or disaffection.  (Incidentally, a slightly different genre will take hold of the literary arts, dubbed "post-whatsoever")   (Tip o' the hat to Peter)

3) As part of the "post-whatever" genre, creative musicians will follow the Hollywood trend of remaking recent masterpieces only a decade or two after the originals were made.

4) People will begin to accept that geographically lopsided arts funding may have something to do with population density.

5) Laurie Anderson and Lou Reed will divorce.

6) Authenticity and mediation will come to mean the same thing.

and finally...

7) John Luther Adams will discover a way to control Earth's climate through music.